Camp, ash, irritation and embarrassment

I am writing these words in the last days of December and you are reading them in the first days of January, so it seems like a good opportunity to look back on 2010 and see what we toilers in television have learnt.
Against the odds there were some good programmes on the box. Astoundingly, ITV delivered a drama series that was just like the good old days when British television was the best in the world. I have no idea how the budget and the production values were allowed to slip through, but thank goodness they did.
Downton Abbey was proper television. A talented writer was allowed to craft intelligent plots and accurate dialogue, a good director translated it faithfully onto the screen, and large numbers of people gathered around their firesides of a Sunday evening to watch it. How could this possibly happen, when there were no phone-in votes or walks of shame? Everybody knows you have to have red button elements and social interactivity to make television “relevant” today.
Sadly, ITV did not build on the success of Downton Abbey: it celebrated the 50^th anniversary of Britain’s best soap with the worst special effects seen on television in many a long year. The tram heading for disaster was less photorealistic CGI, more Lego model.
It was all the more embarrassing as it came from the team behind Doctor Who and its generally excellent effects. This year we had a new Doctor, a particularly sexy assistant, and a new food sensation (although I have not actually met anyone who has taken up the idea of fish fingers and custard).
Doctor Who had a new show runner, Steven Moffat, who in his spare time threw together his take on Sherlock Holmes, updated to the present day and full of excellent Conan Doyle jokes. I particularly liked the idea of a difficult plot point being a “three nicotine patch problem”.
Imported television still seemed to be largely of the impenetrable variety – did anyone understand a single word of Lost? – but in amongst it was the wonder that was Glee. On the surface eye-wateringly camp, it had some great characters, and from Sue the cheerleading coach we had world class insults. Think Malcolm Tucker without the swear words but with more venom.
There were two contests which briefly gripped but ultimately disappointed the nation. The idea of televised presidential debates before the general election seemed like a good plan, but the actual execution were three more or less identical blokes in more or less identical suits, all saying “I agree with Nick”. Possibly Nick did not say that, but no-one could be terribly confident which one was Nick.
A month or two later there was some sort of sporting competition in South Africa. This was memorable first for ITV’s playout contractor choosing just about the only time England scored to go to a commercial break (good job I started out with praise for ITV, I think), and second for the blessed relief from the prattling of commentators and pundits, all drowned out by the blare of the vuvuzela.
For many in the technical end of broadcasting, 2010 will go down as the “how the hell do I get home from NAB” year. An irritating eruption of the Eyjafjallajkull volcano in Iceland threw air travel in Europe into chaos – not unlike the current cold weather, which also seems to be coming from Iceland. Have we not suffered enough with Bjrk?
This caused, it would appear, a great deal of wailing and gnashing of teeth from people who were reluctant to sit by the pool in temperatures close to 30. I had booked the weekend off, went walking in Zion Canyon, drove back to Las Vegas on Monday, checked in for my flight and flew back to London, not really understanding what all the fuss was about.
My esteemed friend and colleague Bob Pank is the 3D correspondent for this magazine so normally I refrain from commenting on it in these columns. That, and the fact that I think the idea of 3D television is so barking mad that I am probably not best placed to add to the sum of human knowledge.
But if I am recounting milestones of the year then I must make mention of the rush into production and the launch of channels on both sides of the Atlantic. I was lucky enough to see the Sony showreel from the World Cup on the huge screen at IBC several times – very impressive. Congratulations to everyone involved in putting together this 3D project in an amazingly short timescale (even if I think your efforts will ultimately be in vain).
Sky, of course, is the leader in stereoscopic 3D television, amongst its many other claims to fame. And it is Sky which, I believe, will be the leader in transforming our industry in 2011.
Its new home, Harlequin 1, is a remarkable building: the world’s first carbon neutral broadcasting centre. When you consider how much in the way of electronic processing is crammed into it, that is an amazing achievement. I very much look forward to visiting in the New Year.
Sky will probably never be forgiven for bringing us Most Haunted or Bridezillas. But if it helps us all improve our environmental stewardship then good for them.